An Improved History

We’ve all been told that beer was being made by the Sumerians at least 7,000 years ago.  At some point the Egyptians learned the secrets and turned brewing into a major industry with whole cities being devoted to the trade.  Beer brewing made its way to Europe where it leapt village to dell.  There’s no certainty of how and when any of this happened so a more managed and structured view of history is in order.  If others can revise political and social history to suit themselves and make everything nice and neat, why can’t brewers do the same thing?  Here goes . . .

Beer as we know it was first invented by Sir Francis James Beer, Jr. in 1823.  Sir Francis was the court scientist to King George IV of England.  After first accidentally inventing diet cola and then wine coolers, Beer succeeded on his third attempt to create the Official Royal Beverage (ORB) when he modified barley into malt, mashed it, and fermented the resulting sweet, brown liquid into beer.  A few years later, Theodor Schwann & Louis Pasteur got involved and suddenly, we had Budweiser.

I’m not sure how Bud Light Lime-A-Rita should fit into this.  I welcome suggestions while I ponder it over another glass of beer.

(Apologies to Alex Fodor for this rip-off)

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